Hula Girls and Ham Sandwiches

It has been forever and a half since I last posted. What the heck was I thinking? Oh yeah... I was enjoying my summer! Boo yeah. If I had a nickel for every time someone bugged me about updating this hizouse, I'd have three quid, a half-cent and a ball of pocket lint.

Summer

Well, how was my summer? Thats a damn good question. Summer was a trip to remember. I don't wanna bore you with the specifics, so I'm going to hit the fast-forward button on this roller coaster ride.

--Maui Car Laptop Condo School *static*--

Oops, too far. Lets try it in slow mo!

As I wrote about last time, I went to maui for a week over summer break. To summarize, it was fucking awesome. theres nothing like sitting your (well, my) white ass on the beach and taking in the sun in such beautiful surroundings.

Oh yeah, and I bought a car to replace my aging '91 Honda Accord. A Scion xA is what I purchased, and what a beaut it is! First off, I paid for it with all of my own money (except for one-grand that I had to bum off my 'rents) and it rides like a dream. Base price with the auto trans is $13,900, if memory serves, and I got one of my own for $16,000 out the door. Blue is the color of its eyes, and it gets an amazing 16 kilometers per liter (thats 38 miles per gallon for us yanks) out of the 108 horses in that beautiful four-door hatchback of a corral.

I also purchased the last IBM Thinkpad x30 in the world partly because its so linux compatible and partly because it was the last one available and the new model was incompatible with debian. I didnt originally plan on spending that much money during summer, but I also didnt realize how useful my laptop really is.

School

This quarter should be interesting. I'm taking an exciting 40,000,000 - 39,999,984 units (thats 16 for the un-initiated) of Astronomy, Linear Algebra, Argument and Research... and <drum roll> HONG KONG ACTION FILM, </ drum roll> baby! This class is fucking awesome. Let me preface this-- I've only been to three meetings so far but I've learned a few key things about the Chinese culture.

1. All Chinese people (including women) are masters at the art of kung-fu.
   Even the hobos and drunkards in the streets, when provoked, can open a can of whoop-ass the size of Maine. If you dont know kung-fu, then you're obviously not Chinese.
2. Old Chinese men and women are kung-fu masters.
   If you ever have a question or need assistance, there will always be a seemingly ancient travelling sage ready to unleash the fury on your opponent, no how feeble or decrepid your savior might seem.
3. All Kung-Fu masters can fly
   As if bred in, Chinese kung-fu masters (see #1) can easily glide through bamboo forests as if they were on wires and fight as they would on the ground. It is this amazing ability that protects them from punishing moves like the "Flying sword of death" and the "Typhoon Sword".
4. In order to learn moves from the "Sacred Scrolls", one must give up two of a man's most prized posessions.
   Hong Kong action film teaches us that in order to attain the knowlege described in the "Sacred Scrolls", a man must castrate himself. But, as Master Wu found out, the benefits (like knowlege of the "Essence Power" and "Whirlwind Sword") outweigh the costs. Its not like he did it himself, his man-hood was painfully severed when he was tortured by Invincible Asia.
5. If you castrate yourself (and your name is Invincible Asia), you turn into a woman.
   As everyone knows, Invincible Asia castrated himself with the goals of attaining the wealth of knowlege provided by the "Sacred Scrolls". However, much to my (and the rest of the world, I would assume) dismay, Asia the Invincible, due to the lack of testosterone, turned into a beautiful young woman played by Brigitte Lin with a pension for young men, especially Jet Li. This plays out in a very awkward scene where Jet Li (after finding out that Asia was a man) asks Asia if she/he slept with him.
6. Old Chinese men laugh menically.
   Case in point: Master Wu! His laugh is a conglomeration of the usual Wuxia Hero laugh (which seems to continue indefinately) and Mr. Burns' stealing candy from a baby laugh. And all old Chinese men have this laugh! Its wonderful!
7. When bad guys are halved with a sword, they explode.
   It's a well known fact that spontaneous combustion occurs most often when sliced and diced by a large, sharp sword. In fact, its well known that it happens every time.
   

What else has been going on? How about my new housing!!!

Life

This year, I'm living in a quiet, gated community called Oxford court with two friends from ICS, Chris and Shiraz. So far, living here is a little different than the dorms-- its so much easier to study in such a quiet environment, but the downside is that it can be downright quiet! But, it's all good. I have some pictures up from before I moved in (look for the link under related galleries) and I should be getting some more current pics up RealSoonNow™. I'm just waiting for an acceptable level of cleanliness. When will this happen? Your guess is as good as mine.

Hmmpfh... I think thats enough for now. =)

aliens in mini-skirts

this is the second entry in the same week?! wait... did I get abducted by aliens in mini-skirts? I wish.

These past days have been very hectic!

I had a research paper due for Writing which, in proper form, I procrastinated until around 8 or 9. What did I do while I was procrastinating? I ate L & L BBQ-- a kickass hawaiian restaraunt on culver and walnut that serves big slabs of beef, chicken and ribs for a relatively low cost (~$5-$6 / plate). Let me just say... it was awesome. In fact, it was better than first, second or possibly third base! Moving on... so yeah, I had this paper due at class the next day and, although it was a draft, it still had to be good (read: coherent). I burned through the night doing research as I went and, unusually, I finished around 3 am. Sucess!! Now, it would have been smart to proofread it right then and there but I decided to go to bed and read it when I was fresh in the morning. Like that worked. When I actually got up, it was around 6:30 in the buttcrack of the morning and I was in no mood to read the crap I had spewed the night before. But, I persisited. Thankfully, I only found two mistakes (minor at that) but if I was to print out the 3 copies that were required, I would risk waking up my roomates. So, the mistakes remain.

Later on in the week, I had a astronomy quiz which, although relatively painless, was tricky. I should have studied more for it, but as they say, Hindquarters are 20-20. Or is that Hinderance?

I've got a paper for my Hong Kong Action Film class due on Tuesday.


Assignment:
You will response to the following two questions in your paper:

(I) What is wuxia (a.k.a. knight-errant or swordplay) film? Define and state your understanding of the wuxia film genre.

(II) What are the basic components of wuxia film? Illustrate with examples of films (at least two films) we saw in class. You are encouraged to compare and contrast your examples to make your points. You will choose from at least two of the following analytical tools/concepts to construct your arguments. Please note which of the following categories or tools you will use to establish your thoughts and ideas in the paper.

1. Story/theme of wuxia film

2. Characterization

3. Who is the ultimate xia (knight-errant or chivalric hero/heroine) in the film, and why?

4. How do Chinese philosophy and culture influence the films we saw, and in what aspects?

5. How do you describe the formal and stylistic features of the films (such as cinematic, visual, atmospheric and rhythmic aspects)?

I'm not sure where to start or when to start, but I know I need to do some research! ;) I'll see you in the Langston library screening rooms on Monday at 10. Be there or be cubic!

Yesterday and today, I've been hanging out with Amanda, Jon, Kathy and Calvin. Such fun! On Saturday night, Manda invited us out to a real Italian dinner she won at church. Boy was it good! John and his wife made us a 4 course meal consisting of Bruchetta (toast with tomato and basil chutney), Artichoke Farfalle with mint, 3 different Pizzas (one with panchetta and tomatoes, one with arichoke, parmesan cheese, etc, and one with sausage and basil) and Banana's Foster Flambe. We were all stuffed to the gills! I wish that I could cook that well... its too bad that we dont have like a week off that I could cook good stuff. Oh well.

And whats on for next week?

Paper to write for tuesday, Study for midterms in a week, Research log and sources due on monday, Final draft due on Friday. Ugh! Looks like I have a full week ahead of me.

I think thats enough for now...

Oh! I almost forgot!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to Ben! Big 1-9! Congrats!

hamburgers, tomato, meat and lettuce

"Welcome to Chester Snapdragon McFisticuffs, How may I help you, Sir?"
"I'd like a h-tee-mmm-el sandwich and a drink... err, dr. pepper."
"Uh... come again?"
"Why, A Hamburger-Tomato-Meat-and-Lettuce sandwich-- of course!"
"Uhm... shooa."

boy, this week has been hectic. school is taking up way more time than last year, with all these papers and studying. the mere thought of all this work seems to defeat the purpose of school which, as everyone knows, is to drink beer and party.

damn.

surprisingly, I finished my Hong Kong Action Film paper in enough time to get to class. I don't think it sucked that much, except for the part where I passed out on my keybard. just kidding. seriously, this was the first paper where I procrastinated to the very last minute... like, I went to sleep like a lazy mofo the night before (at 11:00pm, mind you) with only one page and then cranked out another two during the staggering 4 hours I had until d-day. it was quite hairy because, at times, I didn't have a clue what to say (especially since it was my first film analysis paper I'd ever done). I was worried that I wouldn't get it all down or that it wouldn't be even remotely coherent. We'll see.

aside from that, I've been cranking away (or not, really) on my writing 39c paper. It's all about mandatory workplace drug testing and totally pulled out of my fatty white ass. I'm supposed to revise it for tuesday... and, well... I don't think I'm going to do it. you know how it is.

oh yeah... and midterms are coming up like a rabid swarm of horny alpacas. I just really need to sit down and hit this shit before it pounds me in the you know what. My schedule is as follows:

Math: Friday, Halloween
Physics: Thursday, Oct. 30th
Writing: Final Draft due Tues and Thurs
Hong Kong: Thursday, Oct. 30th

and the fun never ends.

originally, I was really bored... but now I'm taking on possibly three clients-- riverside brew club, a friend of brandon powers and laura kiker. should be interesting, you know...getting ('g')money and all, but squeezing it all into my "tough" school schedule will be difficult. I think I can pull it off. out.

damn.

I finally finished converting my portfolio from the old crappy Dreamweaver format to the new happy PHP-ified version. I've been working on it every day in Hong Kong Action Cinema, since the boringostiy is of high quotient. My pace was quickend because of laura-- she's the first client that wanted to see my portfolio and I couldnt show her the old one... its too hackish. please check it out.

gawd, the smoke and ash sucks balls... rhino to be precise. I can't fathom that all this crap has sailed almost 50 miles from a real fire all the way down here just to sit its ugly ass on my previously clean car. because of this crud, the air quality blows... its almost like everyone in the world decided to light up and puff all simultaneously. its reeking havok on my clothes, my car, our apartment and my lungs. ugh. we went to costco today and while checking out, we saw some people getting groceries... they had donned their sars masks to get away from the ash (and everyone else's germs for that matter)... gawd. why don't they get themselves a pair of plastic bubbles (or better yet, wrap themeselves in plastic wrap) so they can be impervious to everything? it seemed like the mere action of them putting on their masks made them seem more important or better than me... I dunno.

well, I have a full day of (read: one) class tomorrow, so I better get to bed. its almost 3:00 in my time even though its 2 am dst.