December 2004
A wish for Christmakkuh/Kwanzandan McFisticuffs
Since a few people have been bugging the hell out of me (Kathy!) and I won't mention any names (KATHY!) becuase that would just be wrong (KATHY!), but here it is in its full glory, complete with spineities and majesty.
I have taken the liberty of putting the following items into the Scramblinatior so that the order is completely incorrect just to screw with your heads.
By the way, this guy looks freaking constipated.
Fig 1.1 A constipated man.
Without further adeiu, I give you
My Chris Thomas Willis Lisp
- A Body Massage
- NVidia Video Card (< $80)
- A New iPod (20-40 GB)
- Canon 20D Digital Camera
- 23" or 30" Apple Cinema Display
- Lexx DVDs
- Cool/Interesting Music
The Ugly Organ by Cursive
- Anything by the The Arcade Fire
Bright Eyes?
Death Cab for Cutie?
- Concert Tickets?
- Autographed Photos of random people
- Apparel
- Homestarrunner Figurines
- Wall Art (Always Appreciated)/Porn (Always Enjoyed)
- Awesome Books
- Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson
- Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson
- Eastern Standard Tribe by Cory Doctorow
- The Zenith Angle by Bruce Sterling
- The Hitchhiker's Guide by Douglas Adams
- Mono: A Developer's Notebook by Edd Dumbill
- Programming C#, Third Edition by Jesse Liberty
- Your Favorite Book...?
- Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson
I'll probably be periodically updating this list as my desires become apparent, so if you're still on the fence about what to get lil' old me, make sure to check this page religiously. I won't be holding service, or letting you eat JesusWafers, but I'll let you say my name in vein. Hows that for a value add?
Annoying Aarons Memes
Behold another annoying blog meme perpetrated by the penguin patron, Aaron.
The idea is that you set your audio player, whether it be iTunes, Rhythmbox, XMMS/Winamp, etc, on shuffle and paste part of the lyrics to each song played in your blog for your parishioners to peruse and proffer a guess on the song's artist and title.
Good luck and good tidings.
- Well things can be broken down
In this world of ours
You don't have to be a famous person
Just to make your mark - Straight from left end,
They'll shout corrections,
And I'll decline, I'll decline Three thousand miles away
Revolution regained
Eyes that lie
Skin that scarsCome on, now get your ass out of bed
You heard what the man said
The crew is already goneLook into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
And the grass doth grow...- Did you know you were a saint?
What a shameful fall from grace.
But I'll catch you, I'll catch you - My sweet seniorita
My own sweet chiquita
Lets dance once again...
I long for the charms
Of your sweet love in arms
So come, lets being the... Don't let them fool ya,
Or even try to school ya! oh, no!
We've got a mind of our own,
So go to hell if what you're thinking is not right!- Out the door
Just in time
Head down the 4-0-5
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am A broad incision sits across the evening
The victim to our fathers lost war
The restless children sit and mourn the graves
Of those they've never seen before
Will they be buried here among the dead?
In the silent secretSays she's got another life
That I am living in my friend
Through and through she says
It's nothing I can change
I always was the one
And she'll say
Come on I'd like to buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girlOut on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by,
Eighteen blue, twenty one grey,
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed awayWell, if you wanted honesty
thats all you have to say
I never want to let you down
Or have you go
Its better off this waythis is what you see
when you look in my direction,
and contest its course.
it's drawn tight like wires.
this is how it feels,
calling out, but no one even hears.How long
until my day
to die
These broken animals
as useless as they areWell, later on my clothes are in the front yard
The tapes I made are all in a mess
I got to laugh thanks for the new selection
I got your dad's John Tesh
I don't wanna stand here and say I'm sorryWhatcha gonna do?
Decisions plaguing you
It fakes you out every time
Only so high to climb
I know you're wrong, 'cause you see I know everythingMaybe when the room is empty,
Maybe when the bottle's full.
Maybe when the door gets broke down,
Love can break in.- Swimming at night
We've dug this hole
The water's fine
I wonder how far down it goes
Down it goes... And when it all goes to hell
Will you be able to tell me
You're sorry with a straight face?- Love I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are I'd rather tangle with him
I think I'm gonna bash his head in
And this shouldn't concern you except that- I know a place where no planes go
I know a place where no ships go
No cars go
where we know
I know a place where no spaceships go
I know a place where no subs go It says hold on and take this ride
and set aside
memories of all the times
when you collide
then you'll leave me here to die
heres the things I meant
but I never said- Well I never claimed to understand
what happens after dark,
but my fingers catch the sparks
at the thought of touching you
Googling will be allowed 24 hours after the posting of this meme, but try your best!
A Holiday Repose
Here's wishing that your holidays were not only as vehemently commercial as physically possible but as devoid of love, good tiding towards men and religious affinity as the holidays allow. Mine, on the other hand, were quite enjoyable. I was able to spend a few days with my family, a few days with friends, and a few more days with the whores. Mikey likes!
As a result of my new-found break bordem, I have penned a particular psalm portraying the payoff of this penultimate holiday and I call it...
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMASPENANCE!
It goes a little likea this...
The first day of ChristmasPenance, my true lovelovely parents sent to me...
A Pen made of Stain-Resistant Molybdenum Steel and a ER visit.
The second day of Penance, my thoughtful parents sent to me...
Two leather gun-boats (which apparently the previous owners chopped the toes off of).
The third day of Penance, the fashionable Manda sent to me...
Three pairs of boxers (which I refuse to wear ;)).
The fourth day of Penance, my lazycurtious relatives sent to me...
4 $50 bills.
The fifth day of Penance, my awesome parents gave to me...
5 Farscape DVDs (All of Season 3!!!!!1one).
The sixth day of Penance, my still-cool parents sent to me...
6 more than 19 tea bags a-tea-bagging.
On the seventh day of Penance, a collection of cellular compadres gave to me...
7 books for-decades-of-reading (thats 3900 pages!).
The eighth day of Penance, Mandar1721 sent to me..
88 minutes of Wil a-playing.
The ninth day of Penance, my delightful italian parents gave to me...
A 90 lb Pasta Maker for-plate-breaking.
On the tenth day of Penance, my parents, again, sent to me...
10 ounces of body wash a-washing (Anyone remember Eric Awashi?).
On the eleventh day of Penance, my parents still sent to me..
11 stripes per 2 inches (the shirt, that is) a-stripping.
On the twelfth day of Penance, my good friends sent to me...
12 lubricated condoms for... uh... spelunking!
11 stripes per 2 inches a-stripping,
10 ounces of body wash a-washing,
A 90 lb Pasta Maker for-plate-breaking,
88 minutes of joy a-playing,
7 books for-reading,
6 more than 19 tea bags a-tea-bagging,
5 Farscape DVDs (All of Season 3!!!!!1one),
4 $50 bills,
Three pairs of boxers (which I refuse to wear ;)),
Two leather gun-boats (which apparently the previous owners chopped the toes off of),
And a trip to the ER!
Thanks to everyone who made this holiday awesome!